Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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