brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
