I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
