Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
