did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We need a shit load of segways right now
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
