i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
