i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
