Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
