Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
