white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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