I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
