"it" just moved
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
