you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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