Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
