NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
