I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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