the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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