doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
