I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
