theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
