Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
