He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You ruined the universe
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
