here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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