just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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