had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
