BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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