she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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