Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
