Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I believe in your delicious
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
