We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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