I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
tell me about the eggs
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
