I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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