it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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