don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
