Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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