Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
