there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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