Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
