the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
