how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
