all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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