I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
