I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
