have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
