My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Operation Purity has been aborted
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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