Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
