Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
