have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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