I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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