its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
